Having friends forever can be tricky. Friendships during adolescence can be very fragile. Friendship in elementary school is easier. There you can go to someone at recess and decide that you are now the best friend forever. It’s easy to underestimate the magic of maintaining long-term friendships throughout your 20s and beyond.
Friends forever accepting changes
The move to university is a very difficult time. It feels like the end. But is not. In the end you adapt to the circumstances and can be seen less often. In fact, many friendships tend to prosper. It means that there are always many things to update and that gives a new energy. There are new experiences to talk about, new tensions to vent.
Nostalgia is overrated
Do you remember that weird haircut you have? Or that time you peed when you were too old to pee? Or when you went through a phase where you lied and told everyone that you were called Scarlet because you wanted to appear more interesting? If you start each conversation with «Hey, do you remember that time when …?», You and your friend will die of boredom.
You need new things, new memories, instead of using nostalgia as the glue that maintains a friendship. Of course, it’s fun to remember the week or time you lied for an 18-certificate movie. But living in the past can leave both of you feeling emotionally stunted and a bit drained.
Tagging someone in a meme is the soul of friendship
Facebook gets a lot of criticism for creating fake news and being the place where someone you lived with in student halls now expresses their racist views on immigration. But it’s good for one thing: tagging friends in witty memes and cute animal videos.
We all like to be reminded that people think of us when we are not around. And during the particularly low periods of life we thank that friend who tagged us in posts about Maisie The Labrador Who Just Loves To Swim. It may not be heart to heart, but let’s face it. We are all tired and most of us are bad at expressing emotions. So we should be eternally grateful to be able to show love by writing «hahaha, it’s us» in a cartoon.
The best moments are not always compatible with Instagram
«The closer the friendship, the fewer photos you have of yourselves» might seem like an inspirational quote that your mother would put on Facebook with the comment «so true xxxx». But your mother would be right.
I learned that friendship consists of about a quarter photogenic brunch and three quarters, at 4am, talk about your childhood and use their Instagram to look at someone who has blocked you. So don’t be surprised by your acquaintance’s vacation photos from their group trip to Santorini when all the photos you have with your friends look like the low-quality CCTV footage on Crimewatch. It means that you are doing well.